Merry mechanical pencils intertwine with tree pencils

Vincent Kuai, Staff Writer

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Welcome to another Vincent’s super doober review time. Today we will be criticizing the two famous types of pencils that everyone utilizes: wooden and mechanical. Why? Because I can.

In the beginning, there lived trees. And thus, the fundamental tree pencil is made of various forms of bark. Like a dog. One of the biggest merits of using a tree pencil is that it’s almost always #2 and prepared to be shaved onto test papers. So, 4 tacos awarded to the tree side. Not only is the redwood pencil testing prepared, but the redwood pencil has a smell that doesn’t compare to the mechanical. It’s a smell of pine, oil, cinnamon, and depression (or maybe that’s me). Also, the oak pencil is slightly cheaper than its mechanical counterpart. So, if your family has a low economic status created by situational variables that are beyond your control, then that is worth considering.

Now, this review wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t mention the biggest drawback to a redwood pencil: it can’t be refilled. Much like a soft drink at Arby’s; any attempt at refilling results in a backhand by an authority figure. I’d rather not, but I am forced to deduct 3 granola bars from the trees. I’m sorry. You can sharpen the pencil if you run out of lead. This, however, results in a loud disruption in class that ends in shame and despair.

The famous mechanical pencil is a popular choice amongst people in general. The biggest plus side to a mechanical pencil is that lead can be penetrated through the top to refill it. This mechanism allows the mechanical pencil to last a very long time. But, who cares how long it lasts if we’re all going to die one day. Anyways, one wonderful thing about the plastic pencil is that it often comes in a multitude of various colors. The oak pencil often presents itself in only yellow. As a result, I congratulate 8 marshmallows to the plastic pencil team for its color spectrum.

The other day I attempted to snap an elastic pencil in half to impress a specimen of whatever gender he or she decides to be. In my attempt to flex by physical superiority, I noticed that the pencil just kept bending. For this embarrassing moment I rob the mechanical pencils of 4 potatoes.

To conclude, I prefer pens.

I give wooden and mechanical pencils: 55 gorillas out of 11 printers.

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1 Comment

One Response to “Merry mechanical pencils intertwine with tree pencils”

  1. Jackie Chan on November 8th, 2017 9:06 am

    <3

    [Reply]

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